Wednesday, January 8, 2014

petaminda,thoughts-mapping 4

i think i miss out some days, on thougts-mapping
sometimes youre become the actress then you become spectator and realized you missed some of the days

well today is
- First thought was to compare the mentality especially from Transgender point of view Philippines and malaisea. This is in a way generalization, just a skim over

malaisea: not confident,herd mentality, deep inferiority complex(probably brainwashed from the malay dramas since the early 80s and the overly dramatic songs evidently in most malay pop songs and the ballad rock kapak songs), self-defeatist (i only heard this word few years back from a non-malay critics on a malay transwoman) frm:
self-defeating personality (disorder)  a persistent pattern of behavior detrimental to the self, including being drawn to problematic situations or relationships and failing to accomplish tasks crucial to life objectives.

Philippines: Confident/proud/pride/family oriented/community driven/self-assured/organize/organization/co-op/

- this morning i walk by an auntie, suddenly she spit out which startled me a bit. Here, both male and female equally spit out quite often. Is it because the air here is bad? or lack of drinking water? or suddenly thinking of bad experience from the past? i remember i thought of this few days back, if i caould design a videogame, platform game, it would be like trying jumping on Jeepney (like the classic frogger), avoid tricycles on the road, and avoid from stepping on spit while walking on road, Jepeney racing etc etc

- These days i'm back putting on earphones whenever i go out and i realized how good some music sounds with earphones. Usually from laptop you would not hear every single details. The last tiem i put on the earphone was when in school while listening to the walkman, cassette. In Philippines here i see so many people walking around with their earphones/headphones on. I wonder if its jsut to escape the static noise or find peace wherever they go.

-Sometimes being an introvert, from my observation i can see one can change personality and become temporary extrovert. Maybe its the experience in the pass. Some of my transwomen friends i strongly think some are introvert but because of life situation where they have to do sex work, they're becoming good at people's skills and have no problem interact with any kind of people they met.

-Thoughts about passing as trans, here being poor, bone development, pass easily even without hormones >.<'

-Yesterday, last minute i went to the Beehive collective presentation at UP college of fine arts and felt lucky to be here to witness the presentation, how art can be used as a storytelling and in a way as a weapon and knowledge to passed on. And again the thoughts on society like South American community, they still preserve their culture since long time ago and not tainted by any major religion
so their sense of struggle, community work is really strong. Again if to compare to malay society in malaisea, where they were taught to be the superior race, there's no sense of struggle or from what the gov trying to instill on the Mei 13 incident, the fear driven campaign by the gov not to divide further the race and reminded malay their pride of being the superior race, son of the soil but it also erase any sense of struggle and instill or drive further individuality. Malay i think long time ago from the 70s onwards were free spirited people they were part of the rock n roll explosion, the hippies era, so the word gotong-royong is in a sense coming from a community driven work. If to compare to English there's no 1 word to describe 'gotong-royong' as we were told by Saku of the Beehive collective...

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